Thursday, September 10, 2009

Doh!

Bill Maher recently annoyed a lot of people by calling Americans stupid. In case there's any doubt as to the validity of his claim I recommend a visit to (The Customer Is) Not Always Right. If its any consolation at all, its not just Americans.

"If you’ve ever had the pleasure of working in retail, service or other public-facing jobs, you’ve inevitably come across that occasional customer that either makes your blood boil, tickles your funny bone or leaves you totally confused. We all need a place to vent, so Not Always Right is a collection of quotes from these particularly memorable customers.

We believe that while customers deserve to be treated right, so do the employees and the other folks that serve them. Not Always Right is about leveling the playing field for those of us who toil and sweat every day trying to juggle demanding customers and often unreasonable corporate expectations. At the end of the day, it’s about remembering that whether we’re a customer or an employee, we’re all human, foibles and all."

Here's a sample...

Kookie Cookie Karma

Restaurant | New York, USA

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes. What are these?”

Me: “That is a fortune cookie, ma’am.”

Customer: “It doesn’t look like a cookie. Where are the chocolate chips?”

Me: “Ma’am, these are a different kind of cookie. You open them up and they tell your fortune on a piece of paper.”

Customer: “What kind of cookies have paper in them!?”

Me: “Fortune cookies, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is an outrage! Cookies are meant to be eaten, and paper isn’t EATABLE!”

Me: “Please, ma’am, the paper is–”

Customer: “Shut up! I’m leaving.”

(The customer begins to storm out but in her anger misses the door and walks right into the wall. When she finally stumbles out, I open up the fortune cookie and read its message: “Do not worry. You will get what is coming to you in life.”)

Introducing The iKa-Chunk

Mobile Phone Kiosk | New Zealand

(A very elderly customer approaches me at my mobile phone kiosk.)

Customer: “Oh, these looks nice. What are you selling?”

Me: “Mobile phones, ma’am. They’ll allow you to keep in touch with people, wherever you are.”

Customer: “Oh, this one looks lovely, nice, and slim! *unfolds it and holds it to her ear* “What’s this one called?”

Me: “That one is called a stapler, ma’am.”

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